


Different Stages

by hayam



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cigarettes, Detention, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Family Issues, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, High School, Implied/Referenced Character Death, One-Sided Attraction, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, Skywalker Family Drama, Skywalker Family Feels, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26521840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hayam/pseuds/hayam
Summary: All Leia wanted was to have a normal birthday party with her twin brother after the death of their mother. All Luke wants is to stay far away from people as much as possible.
Relationships: Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Han Solo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. Denial and Bargaining

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: Smoking

Luke was ecstatic that his schedule changed due to dropping Econ for art and he no longer had to have lunch with Leia and Han. Ever since they have started dating, he had tried to feel happy around  them yet he felt a piece of him died each time he saw their hands interlock. He tried  to avoid them as much as possible, which was getting increasingly hard to do as he shared classes with  them and Han has been spending more and more time at their house.

Luke shakily took out a cigarette from the pack Biggs bought him and lit it. A habit he had tried to conceal as much as possible for almost a year. He could see why his mother smoked them all the time to deal with the stress with political meetings.

“Drop the cigarette,” a lady’s voice stated behind him as he took a drag.

“ Why?, ” he muttered not looking up , letting the nicotine in his system ,”this is a smoking area.”

“Because it will kill your lungs little, Skyguy.”

He whipped his head around to Ms. Ahsoka Tano or who he and Leia called after school, Auntie Snips.

Luke has known her since he was a baby. She was a tall and muscular from being a former Olympic hopeful before her car accident. She was half black and half Indian lady in her early thirties and her naturally curly hair was even more curly from the perm. All held together by a thick scrunchie.

“Well Mom did it all the time and I never saw you guys snap at her,” Luke muttered as he put the cigarette to his lips.

Ahsoka snatched the cigarette out of his hands and stomped it out with new Chuck Taylors.

She rolled her eyes.

“Your mom was one of the smartest people I know but when it comes to smoking, she was a n idiot ,” she muttered.

Luke laughed a little, only Ahsoka would have the audacity to call his mom that after she died three months ago.

“What’s going on with you  Luke?, ” her voice turning  serious, ”I have noticed you have been isolating yourself a lot lately.”

Luke shifted his weight.

His mom was dead and  the person he thought was his soulmate was with his twin sister. His dad , with their mom gone, made it no secret how disappointed in him he was for literally everything. Being alone just make him not think about how messed up everything was.

“You know I have to keep my grades up and focus on clubs if I ever want to go to MIT like Dad,” Luke stated with a smile.

Which wasn’t a lie, he had been throwing himself in track, robotics, the aviation club  and volunteering at the retirement homes just so he wouldn’t have to think about anything. Just so he could avoid those hours silence.

He wanted to hate Leia for being with who he had crushed on for since middle school. But he should have said something to Han sooner but he didn’t know how Han would react and he could have lost Han as a friend along with everyone else.

Ahsoka punched his shoulder.

“You are only sixteen once, Luke, lighten up and don’t light up ,” the teacher told him  before, "and I’m  gonna have to tell Anakin to stop pushing you so hard.”

If Dad found out the truth about him, it would ruin what remains with their entire nuclear family. The perfect Vietnam War General who chose to fight for his country and his wife, was one of the first female conservatives in the Senate. Then their two perfect twins and in their perfect little suburb home.

The fact the only person he had ever came out to was dead made everything worse.

Luke pushed the pack of cigarettes in the pockets in his windbreaker.

_ RIIIING _

“Well, I’m  gotta get going or I will be late for science,” Luke stated as happily as possible before throwing his trash away.

Ahsoka frowned at him.

“You know you can talk to me about anything...I know it has been hard on you about your mom.”

Luke shrugged .

“But you know, Mr. Mundi would kill me,” he  quickly added.

He  grabbed his Walkman and pushed it on his ears, hoping whatever Clash song was playing could be loud enough drown everything out.

* * *

Leia made sure she savored every last bit of gum flavor before Mr. Mundi makes her spit it out. Just one more day until it was seventeenth birthday and she could throw one last great party before going to her mom’s alma mater, Harvard.

While putting foundation on the hickies Han gave her during lunch got her in her locker, she saw Luke a few lockers away, spraying cologne all over himself while coughing and shoving breath mints in his mouth.

Leia groaned, there was the one dent that would stop her birthday from being enjoyable...the fact she has a twin brother who had been giving the near silent treatment. Ever since their mom died and she started dating Han right after the funeral, he just started acting off. She thought it was grief but it has been three months

She must have been staring at him because Luke gave her a wave and smile. She waved back.

Leia had enough of Luke’s weirdness. Luke, being well Luke, was still friendly but it felt fake.

As Mr. Mundi started writing down some horizontal projectile equation on the board, Leia wrote down a note.

_ “Hey, are you okay?” _

And she placed the note under her foot and kicked it towards the lab table that her brother shared with Wedge. Stupid Mundi for moving them apart after he found out Leia wasn’t really writing notes and was just reading off of Luke's. Now she had to share with Amilyn Holdo, who was just as bad as taking notes as she did.

As she pretended to understand horizontal projectiles, she felt a piece of paper hit her in the head.

**_ “Yeah, why?” _ **

Leia had to resist from snorting. She knew that it would probably have to take more than one piece of paper to get something out of Luke.

She scribbled down something else.

_ “Are you coming  _ ~~_ my _ ~~ _ our birthday tomorrow?” _

Leia slid the note to Luke again.

It wasn’t long until her head was hit again in the head by the note.

**_ “I really need to study for the math test, and bake some cookies for the bake sale and other stuff.” _ **

Leia rolled her eyes. She just wanted things to be normal after Mom died but Luke was making it very difficult. She took a sigh as she remembered reading that siblings may take the death of a parent  differently, and may take longer to grieve. She felt like she was between anger and bargaining stage while Luke was still in denial **. **

_ “Take a break, you had been so distant for the past few months...maybe kick the note so we won’t get caught.” _

She slid the note to Luke.

Luke ignored her request and hit her on the head again. She snorted, asshole.

**_ “We shared the same womb for nine months, we live in the same house, and we have almost identical classes. Maybe, just maybe distance is good for u _ ** ** s.” **

Leia could almost feel the passive aggressiveness burn through the paper.

_Well passive aggressive is kind of_ _anger?_ , she thought to herself , _maybe he is getting better_.

“Leia Skywalker, would you be so kind to get up here and hand me the note?”

The class erupted with giggles as Leia handed the old Brit  the note, who read it quickly.

“Well you and Luke have just earned yourself detention tomorrow after school.”

Luke snorted.

“You have no proof that it was me,” Luke stated.

“Well, who else Leia has quote “shared the same womb for nine months” with? ” , Mr. Mundi pointed out.

“But tomorrow is our birthday,” Leia reminded.

“Well you two shouldn’t have been passing notes in class,” Mr. Mundi stated while stroking his gray beard.

Luke gave Leia a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Well Leia, is this exactly what you  wanted?, ” he told  her, "we get to spend the eight whole hours together for our birthday, yay.”

She could punch him.


	2. Brief Look into the Lives of the Skywalkers

The only noise that was over dinner was the clinking of plates, but Anakin was used to that since  Padmé died. If it was up to him, he would be under the covers and not come out but he had two kids to look out for.

Anakin had to leave his job early to talk to Mr. Mundi about disciplinary actions against the twins, which gave him the rare opportunity to actually have dinner with them. Now thinking about it, the only time he saw the twins was during  breakfast . But Pop-Tarts and orange juice only took so long to eat.

“Well, this is nice, us having dinner,” Anakin started.

“Yeah, it is,” Luke stated with a smile that wavered into a frown.

“ Yay, spaghetti again,” Leia muttered sarcastically.

“ Well  you could have cooked yourself but I wouldn’t think Dad would have liked burnt  fried chicke n,” Luke told her.

“ That was one time !”

“Luke, be nice to your sister and Leia,  be happy that Luke made dinner .”

He watched as Luke lazily twirled the spaghetti over and over and his plate just  angered Anakin even more. He had to worry about bills to pay , sending the kids to their dream colleges . Not worrying about if Luke was feeding himself.

“Luke you are too old to be playing with your food...please eat something.”

“I  ate a lot for lunch  so I’m not really hungry, Dad,” he muttered.

That was one thing Anakin did notice despite working twelve hours a day,  how thin Luke was getting.  Luke was always slight for his age but now he was just ...frail.  He hated how Luke reminded him of  Padmé , he remembered his wife would be stressed out over a bill to be pass or something and would skip meals completely.

“Obviously yo u are not  since you look like a twig,” he snapped.

Luke’s shoulders slumped a little. Anakin took a deep breath, he remembered  Ahsoka telling him over the phone that Luke was stressed out from school and seemed depressed. Then the fact Luke wasn’t talking to his best friend and sister was even more troubling. Sure Anakin never liked Han ever since he brought home the twins as high as a kite but at least Han was  a  loyal friend, something anyone needed.

What would  Padmé say?

“I mean, you spent so much time cooking this food, would you want to try some yourself?” he asked.

Luke shifted a bit in his seat and twirled the pasta even more.

“Dad, if Luke doesn’t feel like eating, don’t force him,” Leia argued before stuffing pasta in her mouth.

Then there was his daughter, who looked so much like  Padmé until Anakin couldn’t even look at the girl. However, she had inherited his rebelliousness and quick temper.

“Leia, this is a conversation between me and your brother,” he told her, not looking up,” and you are still in hot water from your seventh detention in two months.”

While Luke seemed to retreat away from everyone, Leia had become a borderline juvenile delinquent after  Padmé’s death. Putting permanent graffiti on Principal  Tarkin’s car, screaming at Mr.  Dooku , and getting into fights with students.

Hell, the  note-passing was a relief to Anakin.

Leia shook her head.

“Principal  Tarkin deserved-“

“Revenge is not the Skywalker way,” Anakin corrected.

“But he had hurt his own stepson!,” she snapped with her mouth full of breadstick,” tell Dad about what he did to Han, Luke!”

“Um, yeah,  Tarkin is a horrible person,” Luke answered, looking at his still full plate, obviously on some other planet,” I am just gonna eat this later tonight, I need to help Wedge with our history project.”

Anakin sighed, knowing that he couldn’t force spaghetti down Luke’s mouth . These kids were so spoiled nowadays . His mother never truly recovered from the horrible Great Depression and worked as a maid when Anakin was a  kid so he grew up with  the  “clean your plate” mentality.  He remembered just living off of beans and during the wartime, spam and M&M’s.

“Fine ,  but at least grab a snack so you won’t be too hungry,” he told Luke.

Luke passed by Anakin to get a granola bar and he caught the too familiar smell of smoke radiating off the boy. Anakin remembered a few months before  Padmé’s death, he had caught Luke smoking with Han. And as much as he wanted to blame that delinquent boy  Han Solo, he knew it wasn’t his fault .

Anakin was already thinking of setting up a psychologist appointment for the twins, and in Luke’s case, a psychologist and  a  nutritionist.

“How come you didn’t ground Luke?” Leia asked crossing her arms.

“That is because you initiated the notes,” he decided to say,” if Luke was the one who started passing notes, I would have grounded him and not you.”

And he was trying to get on Luke’s good side and  actually have the boy talk to him instead of shutting down. If Padme was here, this entire situation would have been solved swiftly and quickly but Luke was never the most open to him.

Leia snorted .

“ Sure, whatever you say, I’m going  to watch some MTV,” she stated while getting up.

“No, TV,” Anakin reminded ,” and why would you want to watch that channel with such  promiscuous singers like, that  Primadonna and King-

“Madonna and Prince,” Leia corrected .

Anakin didn’t get why the kids were obsessed with MTV, the last time he tried watching it with Luke and Leia he saw that Madonna girl humping the stage. When he was the twins’ age, he had the Beatles and The  Chordettes who knew how to present themselves.

“ When I was your age we had such decent musicians like the Beat les, the Temp- “

“ And  I distinctly remember  baby pictures  from  Woodstock ,” Leia reminded as she adjusted the bangles on her wrist.

Anakin crosse d  his arms,  one of which was wooden. He had gotten a medal for losing his right arm in  combat. The exact reason he went through a brief hippie phase with  Padmé …a phase he barely remembered to be honest.

Leia whined,” I can’t see Han or my friends, I can’t watch MTV, you took away my car keys-“

“Well, we can go to the grocery store and pick out you and Luke’s birthday cake,” Anakin told h er .

Leia smiled and got up and picked up her plate.

“You know what Dad, I just remembered I have a Calculus test I should study for .”

He watched as the brunet ran up the stairs, nearly tripping o n her blue leg warmers.

The house was near silent , only the distant sounds of the television  filling up the emptiness. It reminded the widower why he spent so much time at the  plant.  Anakin dreaded these moments the most  where Luke and Leia were gone  and he didn’t want to think about what would happen .

Suddenly, their large Persian cat  Artoo crawled into his lap.

He smiled at the white fluff of fur that curled up in his lap. At least he  had him and that  yappy chihuahua that was Threepio.


	3. Chapter 3

Han sighed, he couldn’t believe Ms. Ti gave him detention for plagiarizing. He bought the test off of  Greedo and he thought it was legit but it turned out it was  Jyn Erso’s , a girl  that died in a fatal accide nt just before along with some other classmates. It happened right before  Han was even at the school so how was he supposed to know he was using a dead girl’s words? They read dead people’s words all the time in English! 

At least he could spend detention with his girlfriend and best friend.  However, when he arrived at detention, he already knew it was going to be a long day.

Luke was in the  back and Leia was in the front corner . Leia was puffed up and red shooting glares at everyone while Luke seemed to be at the most, annoyed, shaking his head at Leia  and Han  every minute or so.

He had a feeling he was the cause but he didn’t exactly know why.

“Well, look who finally decided to show up,” the baritone voice of Mr.  Windu greeted.

Han smiled.

“Hey Mr.  Windu , I know you missed me in 11 th grade Pre-Cal?”

Mr.  Windu glared at him and Han  made his way to sit  down in the row right between Luke and Leia, just so Leia wouldn’t snap at him about taking sides. Or Luke hating him even more.

“So, how is your guys' birthday so far?”  he asked.

“Worse now that you are talking,” Leia muttered while taking out a nail filer.

He was  half  expecting that from Leia.

“Luke?” Han asked, looking back.

The blond silently pulled out a divider from the desk and placed it in front of his face.

“That is just nice, blondie,” he muttered while shaking his head.

Han sighed, he didn’t sign up to be a family counselor when he befriended the twins so he shut up. Heck, he probably needed his own counselor.

Time lapsed and the only noises were Leia’s gum-chewing and Luke’s heavy snores. Han stared at the clock and groaned, he couldn’t deal with six more hours of this uncomfortable silence and  knowing from his other detention experiences Mr.  Windu wasn’t coming back anytime soon. The Pre-Calc  teacher would be too busy listening to some classical music or whatever.

“That’s it!” he snapped.

Leia jumped from her seat and Luke stirred a bit before  his  snoring continued.

“Someone is a little cranky,” Leia stated before sticking gum on the bottom of the desk.

Han took a deep breath, obviously, he was the only sane man in the trio...which wasn’t anything new.

“I am not the cranky one, princess!”

“We have six hours, so let’s discuss the elephant in the room.”

Han took his Rubik’s cube out of his backpack and threw it at Luke’s head.

The divider fell and he saw Luke with a hoodie on and his head on a makeshift pillow made from his backpack, still completely knocked out.

Han sighed and got up to rip Luke’s hoodie off, which weirdly woke him instead .

His blue eyes widened and he started looking around the room.

“Wh...what’s going on?”

“We are having a therapy session, Blondie,” Han told the boy,” you are mad at me and Leia.”

“I’m not mad,” Luke refuted.

“Ignoring my calls for two months, barely talking to  us , and you started sitting on the other side of the room in all the classes we have together .”

“I just...got a lot going on in my head right now. I am very sorry if I didn’t make enough room for you and Leia ,” Luke told them while crossing his arms.

Han decided to ignore Luke’s passive-aggressive answer as this was the longest conversation they had in months.

“What stuff?” Han asked.

“You guys wouldn’t understand,” he muttered.

Leia rolled her eyes and took off her  red  scrunchie .

“Well, we can’t understand if you don’t tell us,” Leia told him.

“Yeah,” Luke agreed.

“Your mom just died three months ago and you two barely talk to each other that is not fine ,” Han reminded.

Luke shook his head and looked up to the ceiling, which was dripping with air conditioner water.

“I don’t  wa \- need to talk about it, I’m fine.”

Leia crossed her arms.

“She’s dead and she’s not coming back so talking about it is useless.”

That was when Han noticed their admirable qualities, Luke’s idealism and Leia’s worldliness, has twisted into escapism and harshness.

“Luke you are a complete ostrich,” Han told the blond.

Luke snorted.

“What do I have in common with a large, stupid bird?”

“You also put your head in the sand .”

“I face reality,” Luke argued, ”like we are in detention for something stupid, you are acting like some shrink, and I’m literally in hell.”

“Say that your mom is dead,” Han stated.

Leia shook her head popped in another piece of gum.

“Good luck with that, Han, he is cut off from reality.”

“And Leia your problem is that you are acting like a  bit-a bit well very insensitive.”

“What?!,” Leia snapped.

Han had told Leia maybe a large birthday party after their mom’s death wasn’t the best of ideas since Luke was obviously in a depressed state. But Leia was determined

“I have a feeling it is my fault-“

Luke’s cerulean eyes immediately lit with worry.

“No, no Han, it isn’t your fault,” he stated,” everything is my fault.”

Leia snorted.

“Oh look, I’m Saint Luke, I have this incorruptible pure pureness,” Leia mocked with high pitched tone before pointing her nail filer.

Luke rolled his eyes at her.

“Well it is my fault, I shouldn’t have written back to you in the first place and I would not have to be stuck in here with you two!”

Luke took out a cigarette from his jacket and lit it like a professional.

Leia’s warm brown eyes became burning with anger as Luke took a drag.

“Really Luke, a fucking cigarette after Mom died from lung cancer?”

Han watched as a heavy  Calculus textbook  flew across the room, just missing Leia’s head.

“What hell Luke?!,” Han snapped, “you almost decapitated Leia.”

“Shut up ,  Han !, ” Luke  growled at him and fixing a glare. Han jumped  back, Luke had always had an unc anny resemblance to Mr. Skywalker  but now with  icy blue replacing  the usual sky blue.

And there was the explosion Han didn’t want to see. Why did Leia have to bring up the dead mom card? He knew as a boyfriend he should be taking her side but she was making it hard to do. And Luke wasn’t making his side look better as he tried to commit  sororicide .

“Hey, guys maybe chill out ,” Han told them while walking in betw een them.

But Luke was already getting up from his desk and even though Luke was shorter than Han, he still towered over the tiny seventeen - year - old girl .

“You have no right to talk about Mom!’

“Why not?! She was my mom too you know ! ” Leia exclaimed.

“Wow, really? I never would have guessed since you have been acting like she was some stranger- ‘oh look Mom’s dead, let’s have a party and get drunk and since she’s not home.’”

Leia was turning a shade of red that not even Han saw before. A shade he only saw from Mr s. Skywalker when had chewed him out for bringing Luke and Leia home high on Mary Jane from a party at  Lando’s . Han sighed, he wanted to go to his locker and light up but he was afraid the siblings would kill each other.

“That’s real nice, Luke,” Leia muttered as she pulled up her curly brunette hair in a  scrunchie , ”at least not everyone has to treat me with child gloves. ‘Oh we can’t ground Luke or he would go over the edge. Oh let’s just let Luke starve himself to death before calling him out for how  insane  he’s acting’.”

Han frowned. Luke wasn’t eating? Now thinking about it, Luke had been wearing too large windbreakers  and oversized jean jackets for the past few months . Han  couldn’t exactly  tell but he guessed it would be harder to disguise when you live with a person .

Luke took another drag and  flicked it on the ground.

Han  sighed, this could go on all day since they are both children of one of the best Senators in the country. Why couldn’t he be best friends with a normal family? Like the  Dameron's or the Darklighters . He guessed he was just attracted to extreme chaos.

“I know you can’t be talking  about insanity Miss Bonnie Parker ,” Luke muttered, “you are a juvenile delinquent with Clyde over there \- like when Mom was on her death bed, you never saw her once. Like Dad and I actually saw  Mom die with our own eyes while you are off goofing around and getting detention !”

Han prayed to whatever cosmic plaything is out there that Mr.  Windu would come in any second so they would both shut up. This is what happens when he tried to play mediator in the friend group, he would never attempt to so again.

Luke was shaking now and with tears in his eyes.

“ I know you were  her least  favorite  but you could have least visited her once, ” Luke hissed before storming off.

Now Luke was bringing up  Padmé’s favoritism towards Luke, Han remembered how Luke could get away with things Leia would easily get in trouble with. Like sneaking out or going to parties. 

He turned to Leia who was pale and shaking.

//////

Luke curled up into himself as much as possible  on the locker  room floor and had his back against the locker . He felt like he was gonna vomit or faint or both.

He was such an asshole, he should probably apologize or do something with Leia but he was so bundled up with anger and  tears until everything he saw  was red. 

_ Calm down, Luke _ , he thought to himself as he pulled his blond hair ,  _ just try to calm down. _

Suddenly  he heard footsteps, he prepared himself for a chewing out from Mr.  Windu .

“Hey , kid.”

Luke groaned he would rather deal with  Mr.  Windu yelling at him or possibly sending him to Mr.

Jinn’s offic e to talk about his feelings.

He didn’t have the energy to even protest when Han sat down next  to him.  Why did he have to be so close?!

“ You should be  with Leia,” Luke muttered , trying to stop his cheeks from turning a bright red. He hated flushing up and feeling warm , “ she needs you more than me .”

Han ruffled his hair and if Luke slapped it  away as his heart was  already beating fast enough. Why the hell did he wear a windbreaker  in school? The air conditioning was already broken plus the summer heat didn’t quite calm down in  early October.

“Leia is gonna be okay, she’s a tough  chick,” Han reassured, “I  have never seen you so mad before -“

“Well, now you have,” he muttered , “and I hope that no one else would ever have to see me that way again ;  Leia hates me .”

Han  cocked his head.

“I don’t think Leia  could ever hate you and  neither could I .”

Luke  grabbed Han and kissed him . For a split second , it was almost like an ecstasy rushed over him but reality hit him in the face and he tried pulling back but  to his, shock  Han  pulled him in and  kissed him right bac k. 

He pushed Han  away.

“ Um, uh, I need to go,” Luke stated while getting up , nearly falling as his legs felt like jelly.

What type of brother was he? Borderline making out with his sister’s boyfriend and the fact Han kissed back? Oh no.

If this was before Han and Leia were dating, he would have been  totally stoked to have this moment. He had been secretly crushing on Han since the eighth grade. But now he wanted  ralph it all over the floor. Han was his twin sister’s  boyfriend and he didn’t want to hurt Leia in that way. Plus it felt like one step away from incest.

No-no-no.

“ Wait, Luke? I didn’t mind like I’m not mad.”

“That’s the problem!” Luke snapped as he pushed open the locker room door, “you are  totally dating my  sister! And I just, you just, we just  agh - “

“ Luke-“

“This didn’t happen,  Han, just forget about it!”

Luke shook his head at himsel f as he  walked  out in the hallwa y and ran to a water fountain and used the water to attempt  to cool down the flushing on his face, which was unbearable . Why was he still flushed up? He should slap himsel f f or what he did.  He  was a fucking  home-wrecker in the making.

**Author's Note:**

> I have realized this is the first time I have actually written in Leia's POV.


End file.
